Shock and Awe

Having run the gamut of dog repellents from citronella spray to Tasers, I finally found one I think I trust. It’s safe, harmless and effective: a stun gun.

Perhaps I worry more than most people about the safety of my dogs, but there is good reason. The hotel guests are tiny little things and much too vulnerable for me to relax and let down my guard. As a result, our morning beach walks just stoke my stress level rather than soothe my nerves.

I'm All Amped Up!!

 Rick made an interesting point. The stun gun's crackle alone is enough to stop about 90% of the dogs. This makes me very happy because if, god forbid, I do have to use it on an attacking dog, I know I will immediately need to shock the owner as well. No matter how dangerous his dog is, an owner just does not take kindly to having his dog zapped with a stun gun.

Shockingly enough (sorry),  anyone  can own a stun gun; no background checks, no classes required. A Google search turned up , Stun Guns Cheaper so I gave them a call. A very nice man named Rick pointed me to the “Streetwise” 4,000,000-volt stun gun baton. Lightweight and about a foot long, it’s easy to carry and long enough so I can keep my hand out of any ensuing brouhaha.   And, my baton comes with an LED flashlight. And, it’s a deal at $39.95.


For 50 bucks, a friend agreed to be the guinea pig so I could take my little baton out on a test run. The moment was captured on video, so now every time I feel a little down I'll watch it again and laugh until I almost wet my pants. A sick twist? Perhaps.
 
The Guinea PIg
My fervent hope is that I will never, ever have to even turn my baton on. But, in the memorable words of Robert Earl Keene,  “I use my gun whenever kindness fails.”